My First Love

Almost 30 years, you and I, we go way back
So no matter who I'm with I'll slip away to find my way back
These memories are so clear they seem like just a day back
Like when my number used to start with a two five oh
Every time I'm up in you I feel alive...oh
Remember those times when I would sit out at night
My mom was out doing wrong but you made it all right
You would show me the skyline I would feel your concern &
You would keep me company 'til it was time to turn in
Or the times I would go down so I could see the real you
Bonnie & Alvarado fighting over who could feel you
You've had plenty of lovers and I wont be the last
Like guys who knew you as Eden.. we all have a past
In the blink of an eye time goes by too fast
Sometimes I wanna steal you but no I wont try to
Couldn't do it cuz so many love you just like I do.
There's no place like you, tell me I'm right sis
People who've met Echo Park know how I can write this

Restless

I'm at work right now but not "at work" right now.
Hey diana what were your plans for Saturday Night?
Do you have any? If it rains it'll suck and I guess the rooftop bar will be out of the question.
I'm also thinking of Old Town Pasadena as a back up. How does that sound to you guys? If you guys don't have plans already. Let me know. I'll buy you a drink for your birthday. Or you can just get drunk at grandpapas house and save me some money. There'll be plenty of Tequila at grandpas house but don't get into a fight there.
Laterz

Echo Park

Echo Park smile as summers swarm
over stucco- brown apartments
beaded like sweat.Lonely travelers
step out of torn screen doors
of the Paradise Motel and ride.

Carnival lights on a mud lot
beckon the street crawlers. The
amusements reach up to the sky
with colors splashing across the
night's palette in a silent brush.

Winitos crowd around the entrances
of the 24-hour Pioneer
Market, their crusted hands open
for change. Darla, la fea, accepts
change for back-of-the-alley favors

Echo Park's playground swells with children
who scramble around the swings,
and they swing and swing
while mothers on chipped benches
relate the nights and indecisions.

I've screamed here,made love here.
I've raced through the shadow of the trees,
While locos stalked the damp.
I've cried and laughed here - I once
held my daughter here who fell from the
monkey bars when I wasn't looking.

The lush of Echo Park calls to me.
Waits for me. Tells me lies.
And I believe them. Oh, take me back,
Echo Park, Merciless and naughty,
back to the dawn of guitar strings
and strained voices out of yawning windows.

Luis J. Rodriguez

Who you Are

So I'm still thinking of this tattoo I want to get. It's going to be my parents last names(one of which happens to be mine also) anyway the names are going to intersect and it's going to be in the shape of a cross "GONZALEZ" going down and "MEZA" accross. They'll cross at the "Z". I realize that this is uneven because "MEZA" is only 4 letters but hopefully with a little imagination I will be able to make it look alright. I'm thinking that the letters themselves will be the outline of the cross. So I will also need to work on that . We'll see if it ever happens.

"Though memories fade I got you name tattooed on my arm..."
Name that tune Diana

Be Thankful For What You Got

So my Wife has told me that it seems like I've been in a funk lately and I'm ready to admit that she is right....again. Can I blame it on the rain like Milli Vanilli? Tony Toni Tone Said it never rains in Southern California. The Mamas and The Papas said I'd be safe and warm if I was in L.A. I would have thought they were talking about Louisiana if they didn't say that during California Dreamin' ". Anyway let me get back to where I was going.
I've been paying too much attention to what and who I no longer have with me and instead I need to acknowledge the people I do have. I've got a better corner than Jessica Roberts in Pretty Woman. Wait that didn't sound right. Let me try it again. A better corner than Oscar De La Hoya. I'll explain 1. My Wife, my support, she's my biggest fan always behind me keeping me in line. She has stayed in my corner just like The Dells. 2. My dad gives the advise only a veteran can give 3. Finally my cut man Anthony. When I'm hurting, late into the fight his smile makes the pain go away. I love you all.
P.S. Sorry about all the song references.

"But I'm a champion...so I turn tragedy to triumph.

I didn't really want to go back to the last entry but one of my sisters' entries reminded me of someone who had high hopes for me. He was the next best thing to a father to me and at times he had to be. My Grandfather Ignacio Gonzalez or "Grandpa Chino" as everyone called him was a soft spoken guy and he was the one who held the family together and when he passed away, sure enough, the family fell apart.
So it got me thinking that just as my Grandpa believed in my potential and I believe in my sons', I need to teach him not to let it go to waste. I signed up for a business class at P.C.C. I run by there all the time and I actually used to make my way inside. It's been a while but it'll be good to be back. My goal is to get a degree in Accounting. We'll see how it goes. My youngest sister graduates soon. I am so proud of you Diana!

From the time I was a kid, my Grandpa and I never told each other goodbye. We always said "Aye te watcho" which is slang for I'll see you later. I was holding his hand as he left this world to enter the next when I said it to him for the last time.

Did you realize....that you were a champion in their eyes?

Runners will tell you that putting in miles gives you a chance to clear your mind, a good chance to solve problems or maybe enough peace and quiet to try to think about where you left the remote control. I had said when I started blogging that I wouldn't get too personal but.....A lot of times when I'm out running I start to think about where I am in life and what kind of person I have become. In my mind I am wondering what kind of expectations my parents had for me and where I have succeeded and failed in meeting them. They never told me what they expected of me or told me what I could expect out of life. I tell my son as often as I can that he is a champion and I expect great things of him. He is stubborn like his Dad (and Grandpa) so I'm afraid sometimes he'll repeat the same mistakes I've made.My dad has always been my hero and I hope I am my sons'.

I apologize to the people I've failed and I forgive the people who have failed me.I appreciate my wife for loving me and I love her for appreciating me. I am who I am and no one knows that better than she does. I realize the it's important to learn from your mistakes and move on because just like I run with one foot in front of the other, the hands of time move in the same direction. Time stands still for no one.

"Let me know if you feel it man.
Cuz everything I'm not made me everything I am"