First let me say that this will be the last time I change it. I don't know why I didn't start off with this name in the first place. I've been Chicano before I knew what Chicano was. I've always thought about my soul and what would ultimately become of it. I share the "Chicano Soul" with a lot of people but just like we each have our own memories, our souls are unique as well.
I remember as a kid worrying about my mom and the pain she tried so desperately to drown out with alcohol. I remember worrying about her soul. I began to think that her soul would never be at rest until her body was.
I began to worry about myself. Maybe I would never know peace until she was at rest. Not something you want to think of but it still crossed my mind many times. Maybe by me worrying so much, I'd keep the cycle going. I couldn't do that.
When I say I worry about my soul, I don't mean that I'm a serial killer and I'm worried about whether it'll end up in heaven or hell. I've always had a strong conscience. For the most part, I've always walked the straight and narrow. I worry because I have people in my life I never want to let down. I also live for the people who are no longer in my life. I try to succeed for them everyday.
Good or bad, I've learned something from all of them so I am thankful but at the end of the day I just hope my soul finds peace before my body does.
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