Friday, May 27, 2011

Con Los Años Que Me Quedan

    On May 27,1979, my mother gave me life. Exactly twenty seven years later on May 27,2006, my long time girlfriend changed it forever. That was 5 years ago today. (Wow!) (sorry about that) I married the woman who changed my life. It should come as no surprise to anybody that she remains the main source of my happiness today. She means more to me than she'll ever know. She's blessed me with 2 beautiful children. She's taught me so much about life AND love. Cleaning up after myself? Well, we're still working on that. (ask me again in 5 years) We've been together for almost 13 years and in that time, as you can imagine, we've been through a lot. We've seen more "Ups &  Downs" than Dodger fans on "Bobble Head Night" (go ahead, get the visual) but through it all we have remained a team. When it seemed I had nobody behind me, I had her by my side.
    Our kids came before our marriage but the last five years have been the most "productive". We bought a new car together and at that time knowing if we did, we'd have to wait on buying a house. But as life surprised us, we didn't have to wait as long as we thought IF we were willing to make a sacrifice. Two years later, we bought that house. We all fell in love with the house..even if it was 60 miles from the kid's school and our jobs. That was the sacrifice. I still can't believe it at times and we've been living in it for a year and a half already. I'm most happy of the fact that it's ours. My parents never bought a house and moving around like I did as a kid is not something my kids will have to go through.
    Anna, I have you to thank for that.
    We're only 5 years into forever,baby. I thank you and I love you.
    We were interrupted during our "First Dance" and never got to finish it but I pray everyday that God will allow us  until the end of time to to keep on dancing.
    Con  los años que me quedan por vivir, Demostraré cuanto te quiero.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


   So I changed my twitter name (again) recently and have been asked a couple times, "why?".
First let me say that this will be the last time I change it. I don't know why I didn't start off with this name in the first place. I've been Chicano before I knew what Chicano was. I've always thought about my soul and what would ultimately become of it. I share the "Chicano Soul" with a lot of people but just like we each have our own memories, our souls are unique as well.
   I remember as a kid worrying about my mom and the pain she tried so desperately to drown out with alcohol. I remember worrying about her soul. I began to think that her soul would never be at rest until her body was.
   I began to worry about myself. Maybe I would never know peace until she was at rest. Not something you want to think of but it still crossed my mind many times. Maybe by me worrying so much, I'd keep the cycle going. I couldn't do that.
   When I say I worry about my soul, I don't mean that I'm a serial killer and I'm worried about whether it'll end up in heaven or hell. I've always had a strong conscience. For the most part, I've always walked the straight and narrow. I worry because I have people in my life I never want to let down. I also live for the people who are no longer in my life. I try to succeed for them everyday.
   Good or bad, I've learned something from all of them so I am thankful but at the end of the day I just hope my soul finds peace before my body does.
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